Fat Attachment

Love and acceptance are necessary for our survival. Folks who have a secure attachment style grew up in an environment with people who explicitly taught them that they were special, lovable people. Our culture says that thin people are special, lovable people and they are granted unconditional acceptance. We require fat people to perform the conditions of diet and exercise before they can be possibly be considered worthy of love or acceptance. This is the root of “concern” trolling. I am “concerned” for you and you need to perform these things for me.


We live in a system that facilitates secure attachment for thin bodies and insecure attachment for fat bodies. All bodies are good bodies. Fat is neutral. Fat is accepted and loved here. If you do not love your fat body today that is okay, know that I love all fat bodies and someone loves your fat body. You do not have to change your fat body to earn love or acceptance. In fact, it is often not possible for people to lose weight long term.


We cannot securely attach to an environment, culture, or person that is abusive or controlling and does not offer unconditional love and acceptance. We can only securely attach to a system or person who believes that we are special, that our whole beings deserve unconditional love and acceptance, and one that seeks to attune to our needs. The system fat people live in is not attuned to us. We are righteously justified in demanding healthcare & food access, discrimination protections, pay equity, respect, and acceptance.


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